“You get a coach if you’ve looked at your life or business or sport etc. and said: “I want more out of this, but I think I need some help to do it…””
Let’s start this off with a caveat, no-one ‘needs’ a life-coach. Let’s be honest, you’re not going to die, the sun will still ‘rise’ tomorrow, cats will still poop in newly planted flowerbeds and you’ll still have your friends and family if you don’t hire a coach right now. Those things are givens. Having a coach is about the extra-ordinary, about going beyond normal, or even your independent best! You get a coach if you’ve looked at your life or business or sport etc. and said: “I want more out of this, but I think I need some help to do it…”.
- You want to excel. Athletes looking to excel at their sport get a coach. No top-level performer would expect to be competitive at the top of their game without a coach. A coach isn’t better at the sport than the athlete; they’re able to help the athlete see themselves in ways they simply can’t. The feedback a good coach gives enables the athlete to take more effective, precise action, making the most of their practice time and limited recovery resources. A good coach will make their athlete better than they could ever be on their own. A good life-coach will enable you to be a better version of yourself than you could ever be on your own.
- You want insightful, honest feedback. Coaches will tell you how it is. A business coach will be clear and straightforward about your business behaviours and plans. A relationship coach will tell you the things you need to hear, the things that you’re not seeing clearly. Any performance coach will give feedback about exactly where you are in relation to where you want to be, enabling you to take more effective action. A life coach will get really honest with you about what you want, why you want what you want and what you need to do to bridge the gap between where you are now and where you want to be. Coaches are masters of feedback and more insightful than you might be expecting.
- You want confidence. Confidence is a mind trick. People think that they’re confident because of some actions, well done and repeated, or a history of such situations. Those events were just the evidence that allowed a confident person to let themselves feel confidence. They didn’t ‘create’ the feeling in the person, what they thought about their evidence and what they made it mean ‘allowed’ them to feel the way they did. It can work the other way too, those successes might be dismissed and seen as evidence to doubt and lack confidence. Coaches will help you see the evidence and be rational about what you choose to think and consequently feel. Coaches will help you feel massively more confident.
- You want real accountability. You might not answer to anyone at work, or at home. Maybe there’s no-one around to keep you on your toes or to question your decisions and rationales. Your coach will get really clear with you on what you’re doing, what you’re not doing and the why for all of it. You might find it frustrating, or possibly even annoying, but that’s part of the coach’s job, to tell it to you like it is and to hold you accountable to your goals and actions, especially when you’re rationalizing not taking action to yourself. This can take a lot of courage on your part as well as on the coach’s part. But you owe it to yourself and for the coach, it’s all part of being a coach.
- You want a confidante who can remain professional and non-judgmental, who’s got your best interests in mind. Let’s be honest, things can get a bit lonely in modern life. Loneliness needs looking at as an overall project, but your coach is perhaps the best listener you’ve ever had in your life. Impartial, practiced in active, global listening, they’re good at (sometimes trained to be good at) ‘getting’ you. They’ll hear and understand. They’ll clarify and feedback what you’re saying. They’ll hear your greatest fears and deepest doubts, your anger, sadness, disappointment, frustration, joy, pride, whatever, and never tell a soul. Listening is a pretty underrated skill in the modern world and doing so without ever gossiping about what has been heard is as rare a thing as can be found. If you need confidentiality coupled with your own clear and honest disclosure you need a coach.
I realize several of those points are often filled by friends and family, but let’s be honest, how does it feel having your spouse keeping you accountable for your performance management targets or your body fat percentage? How effective is your cat at being a confidante, really? Who do you know who’s really good at reading people and listening at a global level? The vicar, ok, but does he have time for you every week? A coach can do all of that without embroiling you or them in social or business intrigue. It’s their job.
Want to learn more? Drop me an email.
What reasons have you used a coach for?